It's been a tough first week in Arkansas. Really tough. Lots of challenges, homesickness, and tears. Most of them mine. After an especially emotional few hours this afternoon (picture me sitting on the bathroom floor crying) I composed myself enough to walk into the family room of the apartment, where I had planted the kids in front of the TV with Fritos so I could have a few minutes to myself (yes, I have relaxed my rules temporarily in these times of turmoil). Ethan looked up at me and, seeing my red eyes, damp cheeks, and puffy nose, he rose from the floor, wiped his salty hands on his jean shorts, and wrapped his little boy arms around my waist. He looked up at me with his soulful chocolate eyes brimming with compassion.

"Mommy, I know you miss New Jersey," he began gently, "and we can't go there right now. And since you can't go to New Jersey, I would like it if I could bring New Jersey to you. If you want me to I'll send a note to all your best friends and tell them to get on a plane and come be with you. And then I can get some of the kinds of trees that they have in New Jersey and plant them for you here."
He searched my face with anticipation, waiting to see if his words had healed.
"Thank you, buddy", I said, leaning down to kiss him on the top of his head.
"I want you to be happy," he replied.
I hugged him tightly and, thinking about what a great kid I was holding in my arms, responded sincerely, "I am."

I do miss New Jersey. But at least I got to bring the best things in my life here with me.