Boys will be boys.......

First let me say that I love having boys. They're rugged yet gentle, tough but affectionate, and just plain fun.

But, um, what's up with the penis obsession and who knew it would start so young? At 1 year old they had both already begun taking their diapers off and pushing in thier rounded toddler bellies so they could see what lies beneath. And, since then, they seem to feel obligated to check regularly to ensure that "it" is still there.

While Ethan was at preschool this morning I took Julia and Asa shopping. Julia lounged in the front seat of the triple stroller, thumb in her mouth, trying to get a quick snooze while she waited for the cookie I had promised her as soon as I was finished at "this one last store". Asa slouched in the back seat, in his usual position of relaxation; his feet propped up on the seat in front of him and a hand in his pants. All he needed was a drink in the other hand and he would have passed for a middle aged man on a Sunday afternoon in his lazy boy, watching football.

I was in the kids shoe section of Marshall's debating on spring sandals for Julia (all white or the ones with the cute pink flower on them). I smiled cordially at the lady standing beside me and she gave the children a quick glance. She was just turning back to the shoes she had been admiring when Asa, who has a gift when it comes to speaking exactly what's on his mind, sings out,
"I like my peeeee-nis!"
"Asa", I whispered, with an admirable amount of self control, "hush."
"I like my peee-nis!" He sang again, only louder this time.
"Asa, please, talk about something else, " I hissed, a little more desperately.
"I LIKE MY PENIS!" He shouted, giggling at my panic.
"Asa Samuel, stop!" I said, in my most authoratative Mommy voice, my eyes darting to the other woman in the aisle, who was making an obvious attempt to act as if she had no idea that the two year old beside her was declaring his love for his most private body part...in song, no less.
"I LIKE M-".....before the words left his mouth, I thought fast. And, showing great resourcefulness, grabbed the closest shoe on display, a girl's white patent leather dress shoe with a small heel.
"Here, hold a shoe, " I said with a half-laugh, trying to hide my discomfort as I handed (ok, threw) the shoe to him.
Cackling like a hyena, my little center of attention removed his left shoe and proceeded to try on the pretty white one.
"Look!", he called to no one in particular but in a voice that he was sure the whole store would hear, "I have a girl's shoe!"

I don't know if the lady beside me was having a unusually difficult time finding what she was looking for, or if she was just remaining in the aisle to watch the show, but when I looked up, she was still there. I gave her a sheepish smile, returned the "girl's shoe" to the shelf, and backed away, feinging a rapt interest in the tacky Easter decorations in the next section over.

After Asa stopped laughing at himself and my cheeks returned to their normal color, I decided to forget the shoes and ventured over to the kid's clothes. As I sorted through a rack, who should appear beside me but our lucky audience of one. Surely Asa would not embarrass me again, right? Wrong. Just as I reached for a cute fruit print dress my little angel states, in his most casual and serious voice, looking straight at our co-shopping stranger,
"I like my penis."
Practically dropping the dress, I grasped the handle of the stroller and, like a race car driver on the final lap, set my sights on the finish line (the closest exit) and suggested, "Let's go find a cookie!!"
Smiling, Asa turned to look at me...."I like cookies."

Boys..........